How I Survived Domestic Violence? | My Personal Experience
Hello! I am Mika. I am from Tennessee and I survived domestic violence. This is my story. My psychotherapist recommended me to pass a storytelling online to explain my thoughts concerning this issue. Let’s start from the very beginning.
I have a nice family. Wonderful parents who have always lived peacefully and quietly. When I was 18, I met a guy – Jack. He was 27 and it was my first serious relationship. At first our relations were fine, but over time I began to realize that I could not buy clothes for myself without first sending a photo to him and waiting for approval. The clothes that I bought alone, I could wear, as it were, but every time I had to listen out many unpleasant things.
He was also hysterical about my desire to graduate school, because he believed that I should clean the house and cook instead. Naturally, no one asked me. His mother helped me out. She made him leave me to study. As I have no free funds to pay for books and other stuff for tuition, I have to issue payday loans Jackson TN to cover some expenses. I had no desire to tell may family about my problems that’s why I found a part-time job and successfully repaid this loan. You may ask me how I managed to apply for a payday loan. It wasn’t difficult as such lending options are available even for students. I issued $500 and paid it back on time. But over time, he has found out I had a job. Jack made me throw my job up. I was disappointed but still with him.
But let’s contibue my story. Once I have noticed alcohol came in his life. His friends always hung out at home all the time, but mine was forbidden to enter the house. I understood that it was not normal to live like this, but I thought that my parents’ family was an ideal, which means that few people are ever that lucky. I believed that he didn’t beat me, so it’s not so bad to continue such relationship.
I didn’t have my own money, although he had small-sized business. The person changed dramatically as soon as the door to our house was closed. One day he got very drunk, he threw chairs and dishes at me. I spent half the night on the stairs outside our appartment, communicating with my mother, who lived 300 km away from me, so that at least someone could call the police if I was killed there. In the morning, he didn’t even apologize as nothing special has happened.
Almost a year later I found out that, violence may be not only physical, my personal hell lasted 5 years. All this time I thought that I was guilty for what was happening, because everyone around me was saying how good he was. In addition, the only time I was never physically touched, but I experienced two nervous breakdowns that caused weight decrease. My weight was 42 kg, my height – 5′ 7″.
Almost a year later I learned that, it turns out, violence is not only physical. Thanks to Tennessee Domestic Violence Center, I realized why I felt so bad with an absolutely perfect picture from the outside. Now I have a boyfriend with whom we have been together for 3 years. I have a lot of friends, they give me the opportunity to develop, to wear what I want. And only now I realized that my parents just have a normal healthy relationship.
I made assumptions from my previous relationship. Due to therapy undergone I new I am the best woman, I deserve the better life and no one is able to convince me I should live like they want.
My advice to every girl facing such a violeted case: “Leave such people away as fast as possible. They are going to ruin your personality and life!” I am still living in Tennessee and enjoy every moment in my everyday life.